Edward Snowden can’tstay in Moscow ’s airportforever . The American whistle-blower hero want to get to a safe haven in Bolivia or Iceland or wherever , before he is assassinate by Barack Obama ’s monotone .
NSA surveillance scandal : Major legal website shuts down over spy
Why not dress like Vladimir Putin dressed as a horseman warrior and just ride into the forest ?
summertime is way too red-hot for that heavy fur costume . Snowden can put on one of these popular “ Putin chest of drawers case ” and mount his mount to exemption !
Russia has no problem sending its spy to America . Snowden just require to dress like beautiful KGB factor Anna Chapman , and he ’ll be living in New York and posting aphrodisiacal pictures to Facebook in no time at all .
Or just put on a balaclava and [ Russian word for Presto ! ] you ’re an international human right field hero who … gets sent to Russian prison ? This may not be the best choice , although it ’s certainly an well-situated costume , as Pussy Riot show with its dateless crying banding members .
Snowden could also go as a giant transvestite Soviet military leader . The whole USSR thing is really coming back , in Russia , so there ’s instant respect for anybody in a Soviet - epoch uniform .
Another good melodic theme for a disguise is “ Rasputin . ” It just takes a Hagrid wigging and beard , and a organ pipe . Unfortunately , Rasputin was stabbed , poisoned , dig , bludgeon and then dump in an icy river , so this may not be the best escape plan .
Circus bear costume + motorcycle = perfect escape as masses applaud and children express joy .
The main Russian export these day are prostitutes . From Miami to Bangkok , Manhattan to Mexico , these diplomatist of beloved ( and sex - worker trafficking and diacetylmorphine addiction ) are always staggering out of Aeroflot jets at airports around the world .
One affair of many thing that Russian genus Circus bear and Russian cosmonauts have in common is the fact that everybody expect the same under these disguises . Snowden could be on a rocket out of Russia in no time , if only he had a spacesuit .
The upright idea , at last , is to just climb inside a giant bottle of Vodka and be “ exported ” to the land of his choice . dependable luck , Ed ! Thanks for unwrap the extent of the American political / corporate surveillance state !
[ Photos via Getty ; bottom pic via Costume work . ]
Edward SnowdenHorsesRussia
Daily Newsletter
Get the best tech , science , and culture news in your inbox daily .
news show from the time to come , delivered to your nowadays .
You May Also Like
