FishbateFinallyBrings Violent Fish Masturbation to the iPhone

Pay no mind to the undefined , nonsensical App Store verbal description forFishbate : This app is about masturbating Pisces to windup . Or , possibly , to death .

How do I know this ? How can I say with such sure thing that the app ’s description , which claims that “ shaking the slippery fish ” is a “ great ice - breaker ” , is really just full - on Pisces onanism simulator ? ( Aside from the fact that it ’s called “ Fishbate ? ” ) remind the developer ’s glorious PR pitch , which set ashore in my inbox this morning :

Hello John ,

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I was wondering if you were interested in download my first app on the app computer memory .

It ’s called “ fishbate ” , and the goal is to masturbate a floppy fish . There are squishy sounds to coincide with the visuals .

I have tried this app . I can reassert these things : When you shake your sound , you are treated to a horrific , wet slurp sound , and as you approach the 50 - shingle “ climax ” , the relative frequency of vibration increases . Once you meet the goal , the fish spews pale white liquid from its head ( resident fish dick enthusiast Joel Johnson check me this is scream “ soft roe ” ) and dies , agree to the result notification window . I can also confirm that , while you may express joy during the process , you ’ll feel middling bad the second it ’s all over .

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So , Apple , just to be clear : It’snot OKto release an image web browser app that can potentially be used to see porn , among other images , but it is hunky-dory to relinquish an app in which you pleasure a fish until it blurt . Yeah ? Got it . Fishbate is spare until February .

https://gizmodo.com/apple-its-time-to-delete-safari-from-the-iphone-5446287

UPDATE : fall apart news from the developer !

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