In a parallel universe , there ’s a planet where it rain only Italian cured meats . It come out that somehow , a wormhole has rip through the quad - time continuum and connected that earth to ours , as manifest by an assemblage of Italian sausage latterly found on a family ’s roof in Deerfield Beach , Florida . It ’s a mystery story pith whodunnit that raises more enquiry than answers ; a cold case that has shaken a residential district to its nub .
On Saturday at around 4 am , the Adair phratry was awakened by aloud thudon the ceiling of their residence . sunrise ’s light later give away the unthinkable : 15 pounds of frozen Italian sausage , wrapped in suspicious white packaging . The only clue left at the scene was the name print on the bag , “ Williams Land Service , ” which the Adairs retrace back to a land surveying company in Alabama . A rep at the company told Austin Adair , who was kip at the clock time the meat dropped on his home plate , that they had no business with the sausage .
“ You could evidence that guy thought I was absolutely mad when I call him , ” Adair told Gizmodo . “ But he did have a good sentiency of humor , because he asked me to send him characterization [ of the substance ] . ”
Even with Williams Land Service ruled out as a possible defendant , so many striking inquiry stay : Who would vandalize an unsuspecting family ’s home with healed heart and soul ? How far down the rabbit hole of depravity does this entire trial by ordeal go ? We decided to investigate a few potential lead :
The kid these Day just do n’t appreciate the value of a calibre Italian meat . It ’s possible that some hooligan with a grudge against gourmet sausages threw the bag full of nub on the Adair ’s home as some kind of joke . There is nothing amusing about knock off blimp to satisfy some sophomoric desire for validation .
The Broward County Sheriff ’s Office , which serve up Deerfield Beach , did not react to Gizmodo ’s inquiry as to whether or not “ similar incidences with sum ( or other object ) have been describe latterly . ” We will update this berth if and when we hear back .
There ’s no conceivable path that bags of sum would look this pristine if they were dropped from an aeroplane . The Adairs mistrust that the nub could have come from a monotone that accidentally dropped the meat on their roof .
“ The most non - crazy thing we can think of is maybe it was a bourdon manner of speaking of some kind , but even that does n’t make good sense because of the company name on it , ” Adair said .
inquisitively enough , there is a “ European Sausage Kitchen ” located right in the pith of Deerfield Beach . Gizmodo call and email Emil ’s European Sausage Kitchen to discover out if they knew anything about the blimp delivery , but patently , the shop is closed until the goal of August “ for vacation . ” Suspicious .
If you ignore how utterly pathetic it is , the drone theory seems almost plausible . Who has n’t render to airlift some Italian meats their way ? The trouble is that Deerfield Beach is sandwiched between two airports which are no - tent flap zones for drones , harmonise to drone website Hivemapper . Therefore , it ’s ill-defined just how far a drone could fell near the Adairs ’ home — legally . That brings us to our next wind .
It ’s potential that this story has nothing to do with delicious meats at all — perhaps the Adairs found themselves in the crosshairs of an international sausage heist or drug rally conk out wrong .
“ Some masses have say they believe it ’s not actually sausage and it ’s like a body in the heart and soul , ” Adair told Gizmodo . We could not independently corroborate the marrow ’s quality as it is currently somewhere in a landfill in Deerfield Beach , Florida .
No matter which way you look at this case , one thing ’s for certain : it ’s a spicy meatball of a storey .
UNSOLVED MYSTERIES
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