Tess Holliday.Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic
Tess Hollidayrecently had a “light bulb moment” about why she struggles with anorexia and disordered eating.
The model and body activist, 36, shared last May thatshe was diagnosed with anorexia, a diagnosis that she saidshe was as shocked as anyone to receive.
In the months since, Holliday has been open about her recovery and how she oftenhas trouble allowing herself to eat, which led to a revelation this weekend. As the mom of two was making herself food, she “had kind of an intrusive thought pop in in regards to my disorder eating,” she said in an Instagram video.
That’s when Holliday realized, “of course I have a hard time feeding my body. I literally have been told my entire life that I don’t deserve to feed my body,” she said. “Like, everyone in my life has always said, ‘Are you sure you want to eat that?’ ‘Don’t eat that.’ That’s just been constant, from the moment that I was plus size, which was 11.”
“There’s so many people that question whether or not I have, you know, disordered eating, whether or not I struggle with anorexia, and they like to troll me often, and they’re like, ‘As if you have a hard time feeding your body!’ And anyone that’s in a larger body knows that we hear that all the time, right?”
“When you have been told your entire life that you don’t deserve to feed your body and you are taught to restrict food to not be ‘fat,’ of course you struggle with feeding your body,” she added in the caption.
Holliday’s road to recovery has beenfilled with ups and downs, but she said that “it’s pretty f—ing cool that I am like, starting to try and feed my body and not be hard on myself.”
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“Yeah, people are still going to call me fat and judge me, but whatever man,” she said, laughing. “My life’s great.”
Holliday said she decided to share this realization in case someone else dealing with the same problem “needed to hear that.”
“This is not part of my life that I ever thought I would be sharing publicly, but it’s been nearly a year since I shared my diagnosis with the world and it’s been liberating as hell,” she said. “I get so many messages every single day from the folks who feel seen because of me sharing my story, so many of you have gotten the help that you needed, and to be honest, it’s why I shared something so personal to being with.”
Holliday ended her video with a loving piece of advice.
“Also hi, if you’re seeing this and you haven’t eaten today you should probably go eat.”
If you or someone you know is battling an eating disorder, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) at 1-800-931-2237 or go toNationalEatingDisorders.org.
source: people.com
