On Tuesday,blogger Linda Fruitsand girlfriend Maddy welcomed their son Arlo.
As for the rest of their family, Linda says her ex-husband “is delighted” to have “another boy” in the house and that their sons Elliot and Owen “are so excited to meet him.”
Back when she was married, Linda, 33, says she “had everything I wanted on paper,” but things didn’t feel right.
“I was still missing something,” she shares. “I just wasn’t really aware of what it was yet.”
She and her husband, Chris Haerting, 37, had been married since 2016 and dated for years before that. They met at the bar where Linda worked, became best friends, tied the knot, and had kids, now three and five. But a physical connection evaded them, at least from Linda’s side. Intimacy “felt like an obligation or something,” she recalls. She even asked her best friend, ‘Do I need to have an open marriage? Because I can’t sleep with him.'"
When their kids entered day care, the young mom had time to breathe and to “sit in her skin,” as she puts it. Then, she stumbled onto “lesbian TikTok,” where she was surprised to find herself attracted to some of the sapphic content creators there.
After a lot of self-reflection, Linda decided to come out to her husband. “No person should go this long without wanting to be held or kissed or touched,” Linda says. “And I wanted him to have what he deserves.”
Linda Fruits with girlfriend Maddy, ex-husband Chris and their kids.Courtesy of Linda Fruits
Still, saying the words was difficult.
“I loved our family and I didn’t want anything to change,” she explains, which is why she ended up “sobbing uncontrollably” while springing the news on Chris as he was getting out of the shower. Fortunately, he accepted Linda’s revelation with grace.
“I grew up around gay and lesbian people. My parents had a lot of friends that had come out late in life,” says Chris. “It all made sense.”
The pair, who are still in the process of getting divorced, naturally decided to end their romantic partnership. But then, “we started asking … okay, so what do we do now? Do we get divorced? Do we separate our assets? Do we split up our children? … That’s what everybody does, right?” Chris remembers of the pivotal moment.
Because they enjoyed co-parenting together and were still close, they opted to stay put in their home after their Aug. 2021 split. “We work well day-to-day,” says Chris, who owns two businesses. “We love waking up with our kids in the morning and taking care of them together.”
But shockingly, she did fall in love. After her first date with one woman fell flat because of a lack of chemistry, she arranged to meet up with Maddy, a 36-year-old E.R. physician’s assistant. “There wasn’t a lot of pre-communication,” Linda says. “Just like, Hey, let’s meet up. Okay, great. See you there.'”
“I honestly thought I was going to get catfished just because of how beautiful she was,” Maddy recalls.
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But their axe-throwing date went beyond well. Both women fell fast, and Maddy told Linda she loved her within the first few weeks.
Although “there was a lot” for Maddy to take in when she learned about Linda’s unconventional home life, it didn’t change her feelings. “She was very open about where she was and what was going on,” Maddy says.
But after seeing how great Maddy was with the kids, Linda began to think about asking Chris whether he might be up for donating his sperm, helping Maddy achieve her goal.
When Linda finally popped that question to Chris a few months later, he agreed — but was frank about not wanting to be a “silent donor.” He intended to actively raise the child as their live-in father.
The Fruity Bunch.Courtesy of Linda Fruits
As for explaining their new living arrangement to their two sons, Linda says her oldest son didn’t mind that “mommy and daddy don’t share the same bed.”
When at one point he asked about why Maddy was still in the house, Linda let him know how “lucky” they were.
“Some people only have one parent in a house who loves them. Some have two. But we’re lucky enough that we have three parents who are here to watch over you” Linda recalls telling him. “It makes Mommy a better person and it makes Papa a better person. Maddy helps us be happier.”
“He never asked that question ever again. It was like he really understood,” she says.
In November, Linda announced Maddy’s pregnancyon her blog. While they received plenty of support, they got some public pushback from nay-sayers who don’t approve of their unconventional domestic arrangement as well.
“It confuses a lot of people,” says Chris, while Linda adds that “there’s people saying it’s narcissistic.”
“And then I have people who have been through divorces and they’re like, you have no idea how much my inner child loves this for your children,” she says. “A lot of people all right are like, ‘How do I get this deal?’ I’m like, ‘Well, I lucked out. Let me tell you.'”
Even though it’s not easy, and the three parents must constantly improvise around everyday hiccups, a shared Google Calendar (and lots of love and dedication) helps keep them all running smoothly. “We’ll just keep figuring it out as we go, what works best for all of us,” Linda says.
For more about this extraordinary family, check out Linda Fruits’ book,The Mom Life: The Sweet, the Bitter and the Bittersweet Fruits of Motherhood, which discusses not just her own family life, but “everything no one told her” about being a mom.
source: people.com
